I’ve always been afraid of really saying how I feel. I guess I’ve just been too afraid of hurting someone, but we just end up hurting ourselves and others in the end.
Whenever you meet with fear, it becomes a dangerous dance. For some it is easy to shake off but for others it isn’t so easy. The dance can seem slow, and never-ending…like dancing with a really bad dancer who keeps stepping on your toes, it hurts, a lot. My throat has become filled with words, phrases and unsaid utterings that I may never be able to share because I got so caught up in fear, I am caught up with fear. My mind filled with symbols and images I wish I could project into your mind, on your vision board but inside me they will remain and they will only come out as awkward feelings, and yearnings and moans of frustration through out the day.
I go to sleep every night with no expectation of waking up another day because we are never guaranteed another day, so I guess whatever day or moment you have cherish it, no matter how small. Fear can stifle who you are as a being, it can cause your whole equilibrium to shut down, only because you are worrying about what another individual may say or what may happen, but the pendulum swings both ways on the clock of life and you are guaranteed one of two outcomes. Good or Bad, maybe even both. Chaos creates harmony, what may seem chaotic and painful always comes in the end bearing some light at the end of the tunnel and you begin to see the green in the leaves of the trees and the colour of the sky and the blue that sits and gives your eyes delight.
It’s not about the words but the feelings behind the words. Words have no meaning if there is no feeling. We are sentient beings so in order to operate we gotta feel whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually.
With fear comes doubt, but after doubting something you somehow begin to trust. So although fear may stifle you for some time, remember that it is only temporary because time is temporary. Even though it may seem like you can’t get out of that muddle, you will and it’s ok to feel the way that you feel. You aren’t alone. I am you, You are me and we are each other and I feel what you feel.
I sat up and realised that I can’t fear anymore. Who needs to care will care, who doesn’t need to care won’t care. It’s ok though cause you are reading this.
It’s going to be alright.
Peace, Love and Light on your Journey. xx